Dear Auntyji
I hope you are having a fabulous silly season, and are keeping well. I am tip top, but I have a dilemma on which to ask for your guidance.
Recently, a friend had to have sudden knee surgery – but he explained that the surgery had been scheduled for a long time and it was by chance that a spot opened up for him. I found out later, that the knee surgery was rather urgent because this friend had decided to let loose on the dance floor at a party and there’s footage of him dancing like a whirling dervish. In the video, you can see the exact moment when the knee decided it was not sustainable to support 120kgs of weight and it buckled. Oh how it buckled. The expression of extreme happiness on my friend’s face as he gyrated suggestively to Britney Spears’ Hit Me Baby was replaced by one of absolute horror – as he fell to the floor writhing. I thought the video was hilarious.
I am waiting for the right moment to share this nugget, this funny fall video, with my injured friend – but my wife thinks I’m being cruel. How is this cruel? It’s funny! Besides, my friend should not have lied in the first place. What are your thoughts?
Auntyji saysÂ
Hey Ram, you rakshas, zara bhi humdardi nahi hai kya? Who needs enemies when there are frenemies like you around. So your bechara dost had a mishap, and knowing that his friends  were judgmental types, chose not to share that information with you lot. He made a flimsy excuse and went about his life hoping not to have to deal with bhediyas like you about his knee. And then you find some information, and instead of reflecting on why your friend chose to lie, you are focusing instead on how to use this information for your own amusement. You have no empathy nor sympathy, and really, you deserve nothing but contempt from me. There is a special place in jahanum reserved for false friends like you. I suspect you think that teasing friends and mocking them is fun. It’s not – and you should know better in your budhapa. Stop wasting my column with your fizool bewakufiyan, you shaitaan. I hope you break both your knees and throw out your back while going about your normal business – and I hope at the exact moment, someone captures YOUR funny fall on video and posts it on Epic Fails.
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