The recent Kolkata rape case has left me feeling scared, furious, and deeply disappointed. How can such a monstrous act still occur in a world that claims to be evolving? I’m terrified – terrified for myself, for my friends, and for the future daughters we hope to raise in a world that should be safe for them. But how can we ever trust that safety when our worst fears are constantly validated by such appalling realities?
It’s the indicator of a society that continues to fail us and a country that seems to normalise rape culture.
Moumita Debnath, a 31-year-old trainee doctor was raped and murdered at the hospital she worked. There were scratch marks on her face, her thyroid cartilage (neck) was fractured, she was bleeding from her eyes, mouth and genitals. The post-mortem report indicated that the injuries on her body were attributed to “perverted sexuality and genital torture”.
How does that make you feel?
I am a 22-year-old Indian girl living in Australia and every time I hear about another brutal incident, my heart sinks. The details are too gruesome to digest, and a wave of dread washes over me. I feel unsafe, vulnerable, and most of all, powerless. I’m thousands of miles away, living in a ‘seemingly safer country’ – yet these horrific acts tend to cross borders. They make me question the very idea of security, reminding me that the threat is real, that it could happen to anyone, anywhere.
Whenever I go back to India, there’s a part of me that is always on alert. It’s as if these news stories have heightened my senses, making me notice the subtle yet unnerving things that I might have otherwise overlooked. The way men on bikes drive past, their eyes lingering just a moment too long, or the uncomfortable feeling you get when you realise someone has been on the same path as you for a while. Safety is a luxury, not a guarantee.
Comments on women’s clothing – even by other women – anger me and disappoint me equally. How can anyone, a woman no less, be so ignorant, so blind to the fact that rape is not about what a woman wears? Clothing has nothing to do with it – it’s the mentality of men who feel entitled to a woman’s body, knowing that they’ll likely go unpunished for such a heinous crime.
Upon investigation, Kolkata police arrested Sanjay Roy who had been described as a womaniser and domestic abuser. Confessing to the crime, he reportedly “showed no remorse while narrating the incident.”
Clearly, Sanjay thinks he did no wrong. He has no regrets, and he isn’t afraid of retribution. What’s the most that will happen? He will be in jail for life and will die on his own terms. That is it.
With patriarchy at its helm, a country in its 78th year of Independence teaches women to stay in their place. That you are not safe.
Our men, when questioned, get all defensive. “Why are you attacking the entire gender?” Come on man, it’s not about you, for once in your life.
How many more “Nirbhayas” will find themselves in the news? Do rape victims deserve just a candle-light march?
Celebrities put up Pinterest quotes, protestors take to the streets, and social media blows up with emotionally charged posts. That’s where this cycle ends. It all starts back up again until we hear of another rape case.
Today, I see women everywhere, including Australia – a country where domestic violence is a reality known all too well – sharing stories of violence against women in no hope. All we can do, including myself, is just rant – in anger, in pain, or both.
Does rape culture have a solution?
I cannot even begin to explain the importance of restricting access to porn websites that show violent, non-consensual or underage sex. Instead, look to implementing comprehensive sex education at schools guiding boys AND girls from a young age on what is right and wrong.
“Porn is a recipe for rape.”
-John Foubert, Ph.D. pic.twitter.com/DQfcGw7lzy— FTND (@FightTheNewDrug) April 19, 2021
How about a revisit of how we are raising our boys?
Gloria Steinem once said, “Though we have the courage to raise our daughters like sons, we’ve rarely had the courage to raise our sons like our daughters.”
When was the last time you spoke to your son about the way he should treat his female peers – including of course his sister, friend and wife?
Or are you one of those people that tell your daughters to be careful, not go out at night and carry pepper spray?
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