I am no stranger to living alone. So, cooking for one should be an exercise I should have mastered by now. Not really, because several variables come into play. From what I am in the mood to eat, to what’s in the fridge that is wilting, to my energy levels.
I also have to factor in the weather. Sambar  can never be made in small quantities – and in summer, the dish can be hard to finish as it lasts for at least two days – if I eat it for lunch and dinner, which I don’t. The effort in making the dish itself puts me off from cooking it often, healthy though it is. The same applies to my Sindhi curry – the dal and tomato versions.
I work from home, so there are days when I have absolutely nothing to do and others, when a deadline is to be met so no time for an elaborate meal. I go with the basics on those days – a one-pot dish like a pulao or a pongal – which can be had for lunch and dinner. Fried rice, if there is leftover rice, makes for a fine alternative too. I find making juliennes of a carrot or chopping French beans quite therapeutic.
Then there is the health factor. Recently, some tests showed an excess of uric acid, so the doctor advised me to reduce my protein intake. Happy to do so, I started including salads in my meals. This change has led to the discovery of salad dressings with different ingredients and flavours. Besides, a bland Mediterranean dish like pasta and a salad is easier on my chronic IBS.
 When it comes to Indian food, I find it an absolute bore to make rotis – from kneading the dough to rolling them out. And much as I love pooris, I desist from making them for the very same reason. Luckily, I found an innovative solution. I buy the ready-to-cook roti variety, cut pooris out of them, and I have my pooris without the effort. The leftover dough I feed the pigeons.
Having said that, the health of my rottweiler Tutu has bearings on what I consume. Her health is directly proportional to the amount of junk food I eat. If she is unwell, I often tend to skip meals too… or if her reports are anxiously awaited, I will eat samosas, cakes and chips, till she gets better or her reports show an improvement. I don’t know what the connection is, and I haven’t analysed why I do that either.
On the whole, I find cooking a meditative exercise. From chopping the vegetables to making the salads and eating only what I truly enjoy, I can space out while cooking and be completely in the moment. Isn’t that what meditation is all about? Besides, cooking for myself has brought home the importance of healthy eating. The discipline to not eat out by ordering on the food delivery apps, more than once a week too has been a hard-to-form habit.
Most important has been the vital role comfort food plays in uplifting my mood. Due to upheavals in my personal life, which inevitably reflect on my food choices, I have some favourites which always make me feel better. If my acidity isn’t playing up, then Paani Puri is an all-time favourite. And, a weekly staple, usually on the weekend, an absolute must-have for me has to be the grilled chilli cheese toast – with a slice of cheese and some green chillies in between slices of white bread. I am not a fan of the brown and healthy bread varieties – they taste like cardboard. This ritual, carried on for years, where no matter how good or bad the week has been, makes me feel good about myself. In the process, I have discovered my love for sourdough bread too. In summer, I have it with a chilled beer and in winter, a cup of garam chai.
But my forever go-to during any kind of emotional crisis has to be a chocolate pastry. Not just the plain loaf cake variety, but the pastry, complete with gooey chocolate ganache or cream on top. My heart could be breaking, I could be in the midst of a panic attack or worried out of my mind about my dog’s health. Eating it straight out of the carton, even if it is a spoonful at regular intervals, a chocolate pastry is my calm-me-down piece of magic. It has also been a gentle roadmap to loving myself. A reward for every milestone, and a support system during every setback. If I have a chocolate pastry to reach out for, I will be okay and my world is not coming to an end.
If you are single, recently separated or divorced; or a young person in a new city, still making your way through life, but living on your own, let food be your guide to self-discovery. From failed cooking experiments to finding what dish touches your very soul, or your favourite comfort foods, cooking for one can and should be your gateway to self-love.
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