Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and the shops are awash with red and pink advertising. There are slogans urging people to buy things for “him” or “her,” but it seems that many people in my generation don’t have that special someone in mind.
And the grown-ups have taken notice.
Since mid-January there’s been an onslaught of articles about the so-called “relationship recession,” and the stats are surprising. Whilst there haven’t been many studies conducted in Australia, the Pew Research Centre found in 2023, that amongst the Americans who are single, 57% reported that they were not looking for a relationship. One of the main reasons for this was that it simply was not their priority. Similarly, the Financial Times found that globally, young people, in particular, were less likely to be in relationships.
It seems that those chance encounters in book shops and declarations of love on New Year’s Eve simply aren’t a reality for Gen Z. But let me assure you that I’m not bitter about this. In fact, I think that Gen Z (at least those who are middle class and financially well off) truly enjoy their singledom.
Instagram, my lived experience and plenty of late-night conversations with friends have given me insight into the psychology of your average, middle-class, South Asian Girl. She’s armed with an education, stable housing and has been told the tale of how it was decided that her grandma and grandpa were to be married way too many times. That last one always goes along the lines of “needed to for the money,” or “my family was worried about what others would say.” Lucky for us, we no longer live in this reality. In fact, with the internet at our fingertips, we have more opportunities than ever.
Want to start a business? There’s an online course on that. Want to learn a language? You can easily start with Duolingo. So, is it a surprise that the youth prioritise their personal growth?
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And of course, my Instagram ‘for you’ page has influenced me big time. It’s filled with reels by stylish brown women with attitude, fearlessly embracing their solitude. They settle down in front of their cameras, and drop insights on life whilst flawlessly applying their makeup.
Influencers like Twinkle Stanly dedicate a large portion of their content to advocating for this lifestyle. “I have my own money now, my own house. I’m thriving, happy, fitter and healthier because I have the time and mental space to think about myself…” she says in a reel.
Just don’t take a peek at the comments below these videos, where people who are clearly irked by her message, mock her for her appearance, decisions and even the way she speaks. Whilst some of these commenters are women, a majority are men.
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Here lies the second reason that there are fewer heterosexual couples. There’s a growing disparity in the political ideals held by Gen Z men and women.
Whilst in Australia, this disparity is less prevalent than in other countries, it nevertheless exists. After analysing data from the Australian Election Survey, researcher Intifar Chowdhury found that in the 2022 election year, 34% of Gen Z men voted for the Coalition. In comparison, only 19.8% of women did the same. Valentine’s Day 2025
But I don’t need statistics to see the growing differences in political ideals along gender lines. I just need to enter a university class and listen to a debate on gender issues. Within five minutes, someone will ask a question like “well, what does verbal abuse even mean?”
But perhaps a more pressing concern than being separated by ideology is the physical distance that separates us. A discussion on modern dating is not complete without mentioning the age-old subject of COVID-19, and its effect of making isolation almost habitual. And being a university student does not guarantee a thrilling social life (case in point, if you walk into the writers club in Week 2, you’ll be lucky to find more than five people. Although maybe that’s because it’s the writers club). Valentine’s Day 2025
So, because “meet-cute” is off the table, we must turn to online dating. I can’t recall how many times I’ve asked someone whether they felt safe on a dating app, only to be met with “no, but I want to keep trying anyways.” Their bravery is to be commended. As the industry codes for dating apps introduced by the Albanese Government are voluntary, not all sites adopt the same safety mechanisms. Valentine’s Day 2025
But these are all issues for future me to deal with. Right now, I find strength in my relationships with friends and family. And I’m old enough now that my idea of a “happily ever after” isn’t a Disney-style romance. Valentine’s Day 2025
So, this year’s Valentine’s Day (or should I say, Galentine’s Day?) I’ll be enjoying my heart-shaped box of chocolates with close friends while we watch movies and have a good old gossip session. Valentine’s Day 2025
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