Dear Auntyji
We live in an apartment complex in Sydney, with our only child, a daughter aged five named Ashley. Next door to us is a wonderful family with a four-year-old, Sookie.
Auntyji, little Sookie is loud, boisterous, noisy, rambunctious and as the young ones, say, extra. Meanwhile, my little Ashley – who can be loud and boisterous herself on many occasions – sometimes gets tired of Sookie.
But Sookie loves big sister Ashley and wants to hang out every weekend morning. Auntyji, what do I do in the situation when Sookie comes over and she is just too much with her yelling, shouting and jumping up and down? She is one fall away from a concussion. How do I address this situation? I don’t want to be the witchy neighbour because in reality Ashley doesn’t mind playing with Sookie – except when she has her moments of extreme sookie-ness. What to do, Auntyji?
Auntyji says
Arre bahenji, why are you letting a little ankle biter terrorise your family like this? Kyon tolerate karti ho yeh baar-baar ka tamasha? You have all the power in the world in this situation, and you need to take control because the last thing you want is a chot (injury) taking place when little Sookie turns into a little dukhie. (Noisy children)
So, next time, when you send your Ashley over for a play date, tell Sookie’s parents that if Ashley yells, carries on or misbehaves, she has to come straight back. And let them know that you will do random checks to ensure she is behaving. Just say that these are the new rules of engagement.
Then, next time, when Sookie comes over, I want you to loudly lay the ground rules to these noisy children. No yelling, shouting, jumping up and down or running through the house. Make Ashley the administrator of the rules. Tell Ashley that if Sookie carries on, she will have to go home. And Ashley being smart, because she is five, will curb Sookie’s enthusiasm for chaos. Problem solved. Just because Sookie is shaitaano ki sardarni does not mean that she carries on with her kumbukht harkat at your house.
The truth is, kids appreciate rules and boundaries. Your house, your rules. Simple. And make Ashley your rule-keeper.
Peer pressure is a hugely effective tool. Watch it play out in real time – and you can sit back and enjoy your matthi and chai, knowing that the only way to control a boisterous four-year-old is to make a boisterous five-year-old their boss.
Indian Link’s agony aunt AUNTYJI is here to help. Email info@indianlink.com.au for advice on love, work, family and relationships
READ MORE: Auntyji: Wisdom, bigots, and gulab jamuns – Indian Link
