Dear Auntyji
I am a 35-year-old woman who has been in Australia for nearly 10 years. I work as a software developer for a well-known brand. I have recently started a new role – about 4 months ago – and my teammates are really fun and nice people, but I feel that I don’t really stand out. Each of them has a distinct personality and even a nickname. They are always joking and laughing in the nicest way possible. They really care for each other, but plain old bland me is like nothing.
They are like imli chutney and I am like…. a glass of water or a cold idli without the sambar or coconut chutney. Auntyji, my colleagues are all technology people who are fun and entertaining. Can you please give me some tips on how I can stand out? I don’t want to appear boring. I know I am not boring, but because I am on the quiet side, I feel my colleagues might think I am dull. How to be hip, Auntyji?
Auntyji says
Arre my little samosa, I have just the thing for you. I can totally understand that being in technology, it’s important that you remain hip and edgy and relevant. And you don’t want to be boring. So here are two simple little things you can do. But be brave, because nothing ventured, nothing gained.
First, start referring to your colleagues as food. So, if one of them asks you if you have checked in the code, say, “Oh my little samosa, of course I have checked it in.” “Or, oh, you spicy karela ki sabzi, that’s the first thing I did.”
This will become your little quirk and at first, your teammates will be taken aback, but soon, they will gauge your emotions for the day by the creativity of your terms of endearment.
People will find you highly amusing and entertaining, and it’s crucial you do this with a straight face. In fact, if you are in a retro or some other session where the meeting is tense, it’s crucial you address people as food, with a straight face.
If you get pulled up on this, express surprise and say, “What, you mean you heard me say that?”. Then carry on as before. The other thing you can do is find yourself a pirate name. Like Happy One-Armed Rascal, or Scabby Ruth, or Jittery One-Legged Beauty. And then refer to yourself as such during conversations. So instead of saying, “I have checked in the code”, say instead “Scabby Ruth has checked in the code.” Soon, all your teammates will want to have pirate names themselves. See, harmless fun that stands out by highlighting your creativity, and eccentricity. Why be like everyone else – when you know how to be hip?
All the best, my little jalpari.
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