DEAR AUNTYJI
I’m a 34-year old Australia-born man of Indian descent. I have been on many
dates, but I find many of the girls to be….not my type. They’re all on social media,
and I’m not. They take photos with their tongues hanging out, and come across
as superficial. My best friend Neena, a brilliant scientist who I went to university
with, says she wants me to be happy and is always trying to play match-maker
by setting me up on dates. I go on these dates, mostly to please her and find an
amusing story for us to share afterwards. Neena is my confidant. Like me, she has
never been on social media. When she speaks, she says insightful things. I feel
like she understands me really well – yet, she sets me up with women who are
clearly not right for me. I have tried to set Neena up with some of my friends, but
she is picky and refuses to go on dates with them. I’m interested in marriage –
but am at a loss about finding the right girl. What options are there for me, auntyji
– I am getting older by the day! friend-zone
AUNTYJI SAYS
Arre my nadaan Romeo, my nasamaj chickna, aankhen hain ya aloo ki tumhe
nahin dikhta what is right in front of you. You’ve been searching high and
low for this anmol pari, that beautiful, elusive girl who is intelligent, attractive,
has a brilliant mind, is not on social media and most importantly, does not take
pictures with her tongue hanging out like Kaali maa in one of her murderous
rages. While Neena, with whom you’ve been friends for over a decade, is right
before you. Are you really that blind? Do you still not see her being your wife?
Neena’s setting you up for failure with girls who are the exact opposite of her, in
the hope that you’ll see her attributes – and you’re being completely oblivious.
Tum mard log bhi nah, kitne nadaan aur nasamaj ho. Neena is obviously the
right girl for you, but you’re putting her in the friend-zone! It’s time to turn that dosti into mohabbat. Ask her out. You can just start off with something casual. But mere raja, tumhari mehbooba tumhare aakhon ke samne hain. Now go, and don’t forget to invite me to your wedding shedding.
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