Dr Puva Arumugam remembers vividly the day her stepfather left. After a heated argument, he stormed out of the house, declaring that he would never return. The heart-wrenching moment torments her, especially since he passed away this year, following a prolonged illness.
Dr Puva re-enacts this deeply personal event in her online show, Unpacking Black and White, a raw and evocative exploration of identity, migrant guilt, and grief. Recreating key memories like this one, acts as both a personal catharsis and an artistic expression, allowing her to channel her feelings of loss and regret into art that resonates with wider audiences.
Dr Puva (short for Puvaneswari), a Singaporean Indian author, poet and playwright, migrated to Australia over two decades ago. She uses poetry and plays to explore the often-overlooked emotional experiences of migrants like her.
She reads from her book Black and White – A Collection of Poems II, inviting the audience to connect with the realities faced by immigrants, often marked by isolation and a lingering sense of displacement.
Accompanied by veena exponent Poly Verghese’s music, her online performance was held as part of the Digital Fringe event from October 1 to 20.
“I have been struggling with loneliness for a while, not because of the lack of a life partner, but because of not having family with me,” the single mum tells Indian Link. “The migrant guilt for me is the fact that I can’t be with my parents and my brother when they need support most. My father, who visited me often during the early years of me being a migrant in Australia, didn’t like to travel once he hit mid-70s. He stayed put in Singapore. My stepdad, too, fell ill in the last six or seven years. Mum had to take care of him alone as I couldn’t visit them due to my kids’ exams here in Australia.”
Happy to share that I have published my second book of poems – Black and White – A collection of poems by Puva Arumugam Book II (https://t.co/VtQz39uk06)! Honoured to have photos provided by Hadeel, a fellow migrant, whom I met Deakin Careers Clinic! https://t.co/pU7yS19OJA pic.twitter.com/Mppu6r1C09
— Puva P Arumugam (@Puvaaru) November 27, 2020
In her Melbourne home, Dr Puva Arumugam struggled to juggle the needs of her children on the one hand and that of her parents on the other. Despite his illness though, her stepdad visited Dr Puva in 2019 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. But she couldn’t be there for him during his sickness.
“I wish I did more for them. I can’t change the past and it is a guilt I must live with,” she shares.
Art as a healer
Born to parents of both Hindu and Muslim heritage in Singapore, Dr Puva grew up in a blended cultural environment. Her maternal grandmother, originally from Tamil Nadu’s Pudukkottai city, remained a practicing Hindu despite being married to a Muslim man and the family celebrated both Diwali and Eid.
“I identify as a Singaporean Indian,” Puva Arumugam clarifies, reflecting on her early life in Singapore, where she was raised in a harmonious intersection of cultures and languages.
“I speak all the four national languages of Singapore. My second language is Mandarin which I studied for more than 14 years. I didn’t learn to read or write Tamil at school even though I speak the language every day. I visit temples whenever I can, and I have a spiritual connection with God.”
Puva’s migration to Australia in 2001 opened new doors of self-discovery, and it was here that her career as an author, poet, and playwright began to take shape.
“Around this time, I co-founded a theatre group and staged plays in Melbourne Fringe and Midsumma Festivals between 2002 and 2008,” she recalls. “I wrote my plays in English to attract the wider Australian audience, but I highlighted issues pertaining to the Singapore Indian minority communities.”
In 2010, a year after her marriage ended, Dr Puva started a performing arts organisation where she continued writing but could never pursue it full-time. Being a single parent was hard, and so, she waited for the right time to go all out.
Get your copy of Tears and Fears on http://t.co/0uWfP0TwOC or via http://t.co/6LdS5P4pm5 pic.twitter.com/piuDCG1eOS
— Puva P Arumugam (@Puvaaru) April 5, 2013
The defining moment for her was in 2020 when she published her book Black and White. A collection of poems, the book was written during a particularly difficult phase of her life, capturing the raw emotions of being a single parent, coping with financial and emotional stress, and managing the overwhelming challenges of loneliness.
Looking for ways to present her work to audiences, the digital medium seemed best suited, given her responsibilities at work and home.
Mental health of migrants
Through her online shows, Dr Puva wishes to change the dialogue around mental health and well-being, especially within migrant communities.
“I want to bring awareness of such issues that people are afraid to talk about openly even with families,” she says. “Migrant communities do provide support but not for all. Some are too proud to tell others that they are suffering. Some would find it as a failure to admit that things are not going as smoothly as they wanted even after years of being a migrant. Some would think that others are having it easy and so on.”
In the pipeline for Dr Puva Arumugam is a book of plays she wrote as an early migrant. “I’d love to stage these works, with other creatives. I would also love to conduct workshops for other artists to help showcase their works through a medium that best suits them.”
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