As Pride Month draws to a close, it’s the perfect moment to engage in meaningful discussions about being queer within the South Asian community. So, in the spirit of this vibrant and significant month, we turn to Dominic Thattil, a queer advocate and a bold, stylish desi man. With his unique blend of insight and flair, Dom delves into the issues of homophobia and emphasises the importance of education over merely participating in festive events like Mardi Gras.
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While Pride Month is a time to celebrate the LGBTQI+ community through parades, events, and thoughtful reflections on the progress achieved, there are serious issues that remain hidden behind the sparkle and glitter. “I used to think Pride Month meant being as glitzy and glamorous as you possibly can, talking about boyfriends and nails. But I had a pretty negative experience at World Pride when I experienced quite a bit of homophobia. I remember thinking, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to celebrate Pride again. So the way I celebrate Pride these days is by educating other people. And it’s more than just a show of what pride is; it’s what pride is all about.” Despite being a confident and expressive person, Dominic Thattil highlights the deep-seated prejudices that many, including him, still face today.
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At Sydney World Pride last year, for the first time, a prime minister marched alongside the LGBTQ community at the Mardi Gras parade, indicating that Australia, a country where homosexuality was once punishable by death, has come a long way. Comparing this to his own experience, Dom reflected, “I think it’s a beautiful gesture to walk in Pride as the first prime minister to do so, but where’s the actual dialogue around that? Talk about why you did it, talk about the fact that even while you’re doing that, people are still being spat on in the middle of the street. The discourse around Pride is far more important than parading around in exotic cars.”
Having a South Indian father, who used to be a Catholic priest and a mother from Kolkata, Dom also spoke about what it was like when he first came out to his immigrant parents.
“It took them a while to really wrap their heads around it. And there would still be points, where they would say when are you going to bring a girl around, and it was a really slow process, I’m not gonna lie to you. But eventually, they’ve been able to unlearn things. You’ve got to change with the times, especially for the people you love. And if you don’t, you are going to get left behind. Especially because I came from such a conservative background, my parents have made a conscious effort to change.”
You might recognise the last name… Yes, he is Miss Universe Australia 2020, Maria Thattil’s brother! Dom recounts the exact moment he knew his sister was going to become Miss Universe Australia and it was way before she had even put her application in.
“Now back then I didn’t have all of this self confidence or self worth and I actually told her what makes you think a short, brown woman in this country has a shot at being Miss Universe. And an hour later, I was like, shit, you’re gonna win this thing!”
Acknowledging Maria as his role model, Dom credits her as being someone that encouraged him to “embrace his queerness even before she came out herself.”
While India and Indians around the world are becoming more open with such conversations and more accepting, it is still a relatively new concept. When asked about being an ethnic minority in Australia and coming to terms with his identity, Dom said, “When I was younger, I used to actually shun my heritage, but now, I can be proudly Indian. I love my melanin. I’ll wear women’s Indian clothing to family events. And it’s really good to see that that’s how my culture currently comes out of me these days and not in a repressed way.”
Dominic Thattil is a proud, queer Indian and he can be seen incorporating Indian elements into his fashion style, which is very refreshing to see in mainstream media as a first! He pairs bindis with suits, rocks pink sherwanis with pink pumps and twirls lehengas that look like they were made just for him and we’re loving each time we see this unique desi tadka!
“This is how I’m dressing. Invite me to your wedding. I’m going to wear a sari. Just because I look really good. And I’ve got the waist for it.”
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