Dear Auntyji,
My wife and I have lived in Australia for 15 years and we both have very good corporate jobs which pay well. We also have families in India and spread across the world. Auntyji, the problem is this. I like to look good when I go to the office – and so every few weeks or so, Shilpa and I go to the city to look at clothes and things for me. I know you might think I am an unusual man because I shop for clothes quite frequently. In any case, during each shopping expedition, while I am looking at clothes, Shilpa might buy something for herself, but then she spends the bulk of time trying to buy things for our extended families. Now our families are fairly well off in India so they don’t need things, but Shilpa is always buying buying buying for them. When I say something to her, she either laughs at me and says I lack generosity, or she gets cranky and tells me to be quiet (this mostly happens when the day is hot). Auntyji, our families in India don’t ask for gifts and they are doing even better than us. How do I get Shilpa to stop this unnecessary habit? By the way, I have to admit that the relatives love the gifts – but like I said, they don’t need the gifts.
Auntyji says
Arre kanjoos. What type of napunsak are you that you don’t see that it’s not so much about the gifts for your family, but about the fact that Shilpa is a caring, generous, loving human being – unlike the napasand daku that you are. The problem here is you. And how you managed to land a generous wife like Shilpa, and continue to hold onto her, is beyond me. So here is what you need to rethink – first unlock the darwaza of your akl and see the world through an abundance mindset. You are blessed beyond belief. That you have a stable well-paying job in one of the most stable, wealthiest countries on the globe is a gift. You have plenty of paisa. Your relatives have plenty of paisa. Yet where is your abundance mindset? Let me explain it to a nasamajh like you more simply. Shilpa cares about people, and when she buys gifts, it’s because this is her way of saying to her family, that she cares for them, and is thinking about them. And when she gives them the gift, she is essentially giving them a part of herself. She is giving them her love and affection, manifested in a physical gift. A bewakuf like you can’t be expected to understand what generosity of spirit looks like if it came and bit you on your matlabi booty. Do you even care about anyone other than yourself? If you stopped preening and parading in front of a mirror like a munni bhai getting dressed for a mujra, you would have more time to think about how you can be a better human being. And go buy Shilpa a gift. She deserves a thousand gifts for putting up with a budtehzeeb rogi like you.
